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I like this draft a lot more than my first one. Unfortunately, when I finished the paper, I realized I did not meet the page requirements. Instead of 15 pages, I have around 12. My concern is that I do not have enough materials. I am also concerned about how well I integrated my secondary sources into the paper. I am also unsure of how well my explanations of the sources are. I did not have trouble finding relevant information, but the way that I include them feels forced. I am also concerned with the level or repetiveness that I found in my paper. On the other hand, I am proud of how I dissected certain quotes from the primary text. In my previous papers, I used to place the quote by just inserting it with quotations. This time around, I tried to avoid doing that. Instead, I wrote my points and incorporated lines from the book while expressing my ideas. Moreover, I am happy with my introduction, background, and conclusion. For my body paragraphs, I am somewhat content. I wish my ideas were more organized. I am also nervous about how well I transitioned from idea to idea. After today’s review, I plan to find more content to incorporate so that I can meet the page requirements and elaborate only on my ideas.

For my first draft, I was able to finish a big chunk of my paper. I wrote out all of my ideas and put in place holders for secondary sources. I want to wait for the peer review before deciding where to put the sources. I also included extra paragraphs that I may or may not get rid of. This is because I want to ask my classmates how they feel about certain details. For example, I don’t think I need to include Tariq and Laila’s relationship since they had a healthy relationship. I think I am better off focusing on all of the toxic marriages instead. I also noticed that I have a confusing overlap of husbands and fathers. The same quotes that I incorporated for Jhalil in his role as a husband can also be used for describing his role as a father. I also gave a list of secondary source details so that I can ask my partner where they fit best into my paper. I am nervous about not having the complete paper done, but I know that it will be a waste of my time and energy to write paragraphs that I will end up deleting. I would rather include my ideas in this draft and get feedback on my approach to proving my thesis. It may just be that I reframe my focus onto something completely different based on the review I get from my partner. I see this first draft review as an extension of my brainstorming process. 

I started drafting the introduction paragraph first. I usually feel intimidated by a blank page, so my trick is to just get a well-written introduction down. I feel motivated by the progress I make through the introduction. When it comes to the rest of my paper, I do not feel confident enough in my outline to start. Although I have my thesis down. The supporting paragraphs seem intertwined. A peer told me she has been jumping back and forth between paragraphs since that’s how she works best. I plan to write out a complete outline that I feel good about and start from there. I will try to jump back and forth and just write where my ideas flow naturally. My issue with this part of the process is that I do not know if I like my approach to dissecting the plot. I have lots of material on the friendship section, but my materials for marriage and parenthood easily become tangled. I think this is because I am using too many characters. I believe eliminating some of the relationships that are unnecessary will allow me to easily explain my thesis. Before I plan out a revised outline, I also started the first half of my conclusion paragraph. The introduction and conclusion have always felt easiest to me. The hardest part is the body paragraphs, but I think once I get started with them, it will get easier. 

The pages provided on The Color Purple are perfect for analyzing womanhood under the patriarchal lens. The fact that Celie never looked at herself shows how uneducated she is about her own body. The incident also hints that there is shame in others looking at your body, which naturally even carries over to how women view themselves. Moreover, there is also insight into the expectations of pleasure. When Celie asks if shugh if she ever enjoys sex, the answer is never. This shows how even the advantages of sex are taken away from these young women whose bodies are exploited by men. Moreover, the conversation around sex, motherhood, and pregnancy  ties back to my readings from “A Thousand Splendid Suns.” Specifically, the part where Nana reveals that she gets impregnated by a man who is higher in social hierarchy, and then abandoned as if she is meaningless. The trauma causes her to behave harshly towards her own daughter. Womanhood and motherhood are never safe from exploitation when operating in a patriarchal environment.

I am really happy with the results from my research. I think I will have a hard time not overusing all of these sources since everything is so beneficial.  It helped to organize my thoughts about my entire paper. When researching, I found it helpful to put it in terms related to my topic. Like I searched things like “women in Afghanistan,” or “trauma from domestic abuse.” All of the sources were beneficial to my thesis and even pointed me to a clearer topic. This is what went well in my research. The combination of the topics was perfect for giving me clear and resourceful information about my book. A difficulty I had was trying to avoid papers that were too close to “A Thousand Splendid Suns.” I was surprised by the very specific sources, such as something involving motherhood in post-war Afghanistan. I wish I could find more research on the application of law when it comes to female self-defence. Especially in relation to authentic Sharia law. For instance, in Sharia law, self-defence is never punishable by death sentence; however, in the story, that was what happened.  But I think the interpretation of Islamic ruling through a patriarchal lens may help me unpack this part of my paper a little more.

The passages  I read from “13 Ways of Being a Fat Girl” really sparked my interest. I particularly enjoyed the moments of unspoken understanding between the story and the audience. For instance, when Lizzie asks her friends if she looks fat, they simply avoid the topic. They answer with “you look mad,” even though that wasn’t what she asked. Later, there was a moment where Lizzie tells her China that she had not disclosed her weight to the boy. As a response, China just looks at Lizzie up and down and avoids saying anything. These awkward moments of silence show that her friends have trouble confronting the idea that Lizzia is fat. I could only imagine that this made Lizzie even more uncomfortable. Her friends should reinforce her by telling her that fat and beauty are not opposites and that she should feel beautiful in her own skin instead of trying to fit conventional beauty standards. Moreover, this part of the passage also reveals how Lizzie compares her to her friends. During the conversation, Lizie looks at her friend China and notes how her facial features are so “cutting sharp,” and also compares her bones to an “elegant origami configuration.” In the same paragraphs where Lizzie talks down on herself about her weight, she also subconsciously praises and admires her friends for being skinny.

The topic that I plan to write about is the effects of patriarchal norms on female identity, safety, and relations within A Thousand Splendid Suns. This article will be submitted to the Rock Creek Review platform since this establishment is seeking to tell the stories of marginalized voices. For the readings, I am assigning an article that focuses on Gender, trauma, and adaptive behavior within the context of the story. This article is very broad in what it covers, so my classmates will have a lot to discuss. I hope to gain insight into what readers would want to focus on when learning about this topic. The passage that I assigned from the text is one of my favorite parts of the book. The passage and the guided question connected to it will help me to navigate how well my audience would understand the story. In class, we discussed the balance between not over-explaining but also not overestimating our audience, so this will help me get an idea of what is “obvious” and what requires in-depth explanations. There is a lot more I plan to research. For example, I know how the general patriarchal norms affected the characters in the story in terms of their behavior and relations, but I want to learn more about how the characters reacted to the trauma brought on by those norms. Hopefully, the class discussions and the articles I research will prepare me to write the article as best as possible.

When reflecting on my previous work, I can’t help but be disappointed at the lack of papers I enjoyed writing. I can not remember many writing assignments that I felt passionate about completing. I personally enjoy creating projects more than writing papers. And writing essays is something I dread doing. The only writing assignments that I had fun doing were creative or personal stories. In one of my classes this semester, I was given the task of writing about a moment where I experienced change. I passionately wrote and revised my work, even though it was an easy A, regardless of my multiple drafts.  When it comes to writing formal essays, I simply do my best to get a good grade, and it often ends up feeling like a chore. But I take this opportunity to focus on how well I write instead of what I write. This helps me improve my writing. On the other hand, I find myself really invested in an essay if the topic is something I really care about. Last semester, I wrote an essay on my favorite book, Dreaming in Cuban. The topic was about how women of different generations carried the effects of war-related trauma. I loved unpacking the quotes of all of the characters because I really resonated with them. I guess when the work is personal, I find the process to be not only enjoyable but also memorable.

AI Summary:
The passage explains how Rhoda Broughton’s “Mrs. Smith of Longmains” challenges Victorian beliefs that older women were irrational or hysterical, especially during menopause. The narrator’s strange behavior makes others think she is mentally unstable, reflecting medical ideas at the time. However, her dream turns out to be a real warning that prevents a murder. The story shows that what society calls “madness” in women may actually be intuition and strength, criticizing stereotypes about aging women.

My review: 

Ai’s passage provides a brief and somewhat decent summary of the article. It does a sufficient job of presenting the main ideas of the text. The key concepts of the ariclte is well explained, but also in a somewhat brief manner. The text should have gone into detail on specific points of discourse in the article. The last line does a good job of closing up the ideas. Moreover, the passage explains the clear connection between the story and Victorian norms about women’s health. However, the text is confusing since it randomly throws in references to story events. For instance, the passage states, “However, her dream turns out to be a real warning that prevents a murder,” without giving background information about her dream. This shows that this summary is unreliable because it does not provide important details in the right sequence. This sentence is also a little misleading because in the actual story, the murder is not prevented. All in all, the AI summary is not very reliable. While it does present some key details, it fails to give a productive summary as the most important information is missing. 

This story is probably my favorite since we read Girl Woman and Other. I simply loved how this stage of Vivian’s life unfolded in front of us. What stood out to me most was how her approach to her sickness changed throughout the story. In the begining she felt confident and even arrogant in how she planned to cope with mortality. She compared handling death with handling poetry about death, which was something she excelled in. However, she eventually realizes that she was not as strong as she thought she was. In the end, she understands that compassion and human connection hold more value than career accomplishments. As a young woman in this competitive world, I find myself contemplating the balance between work and life. Vivian’s story made me realize that life is temporary, and I should prioritize my friends and family over anything else. My career-related achievements will not provide me confront when I am on my deathbed. Far too many women, like Viviean, become absorbed into their careers, and part of the reason for this pattern is due to the pressure to prove a point. Women often feel obligated to show that we are just as capable as men. This in heingshght cause us to forget to take care of ourselves and our personal lives, including building human connections. This idea connects to a TikTok I came across about a woman struggling to accept the fact that she has to go back to work only a couple of weeks after having a baby. She explains that her newborn baby is far too young to be put into daycare, but that has to happen anyway. She also shares how the economic environment of today for the average American family is not nearly enough for only one income. Therefore, she and her husband must both go to work to make ends meet. Like her, many American women feel economic or societal pressure to go to work right after giving birth. They do not get the privilege of adjusting to become mothers. I believe women like Vivian, as well as women like the TikTokker, should be allowed and encouraged to give space for their personal lives. As Wit reminds us, life is temporary, so we should spend it with our loved ones and we should spend it being compassionate.

https://www.tiktok.com/@daefromvegas/video/7431753247741709614?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7599024759187686942